click on the image to read the article, its quite ridiculous.
Monday, 30 November 2009
Monday, 16 November 2009
Gabhricha Paus
Gabhricha Paus is a brilliant marathi movie starring the lovely and talented Sonali Kulkarni and the equally talented Girish Kulkarni, it deals with the issue of farmer suicides in Vidarbha in a remarkably soft manner devoid of bitterness. It does not skirt hard issues and the story is almost reminiscent of Dostoevsky in the way it crushes hope again and again. There are no happy endings, but the movie is not devoid of happiness.
Unlike Aakrosh which portrays the dark and desperate suffering of the advasis, Gabhricha Paus has well rounded characters (Im saying the Adivasi characters in Aakrosh are a little unidimentional, but the effect created is brilliant and legendary, so no complaints). It takes us into their lives, in their language (most urban marathi speakers will be glad for the subtitles quite often) and compells us to share in their fortunes and misfortunes. One cant help but be glad at Sonali's charming half smile when her husband likes her puranpoli (a special sweet dish) after being upset at the expense and we are anxious and worried when Girish (Kisna in the film) stares at the sky standing in his barren field while the song in the background implores mother earth to let the rain pour forth..
The movie does justice to the barren yet strangely beautiful landscapes of the area it is set and shot in and the soundtrack is true to the mood of the film. The songs resonate and are filled with meaning and the acting is quite exceptional. There are several nice touches I will not talk about so that you may have the pleasure of discovering them yourself.
All in all, very highly recommended. Some knowledge of Marathi will help of course, but the subtitles are not bad at all and if you can read English, this movie is a very rewarding watch.
Delightful.
Unlike Aakrosh which portrays the dark and desperate suffering of the advasis, Gabhricha Paus has well rounded characters (Im saying the Adivasi characters in Aakrosh are a little unidimentional, but the effect created is brilliant and legendary, so no complaints). It takes us into their lives, in their language (most urban marathi speakers will be glad for the subtitles quite often) and compells us to share in their fortunes and misfortunes. One cant help but be glad at Sonali's charming half smile when her husband likes her puranpoli (a special sweet dish) after being upset at the expense and we are anxious and worried when Girish (Kisna in the film) stares at the sky standing in his barren field while the song in the background implores mother earth to let the rain pour forth..
The movie does justice to the barren yet strangely beautiful landscapes of the area it is set and shot in and the soundtrack is true to the mood of the film. The songs resonate and are filled with meaning and the acting is quite exceptional. There are several nice touches I will not talk about so that you may have the pleasure of discovering them yourself.
All in all, very highly recommended. Some knowledge of Marathi will help of course, but the subtitles are not bad at all and if you can read English, this movie is a very rewarding watch.
Delightful.
अर्ध सत्य. (Half Truth)
This is the poem from Govind Nihalani's brilliant second film Ardh Satya (1983). The poem is by Dileep Chitre.
चक्रव्यूह मे घुसने से पहले,
कौन था मैं और कैसा था,
यह मुझे याद ही न रहेगा.
चक्रव्यूह मे घुसने के बाद,
मेरे और चक्रव्यूह के बीच,
सिर्फ एक जानलेवा निकटता थी,
इसका मुझे पता ही न चलेगा.
चक्रव्यूह से निकलने के बाद,
मैं मुक्त हो जाऊं भले ही,
फिर भी चक्रव्यूह की रचना मे
फर्क ही न पड़ेगा.
मरू या मारूं,
मारा जाऊं या जान से मार्डून,
इसका फैसला कभी न हो पायेगा.
सोया हुआ आदमी जब
नींद से उठकर चलना शुरू करता है,
तब सपनों का संसार उसे,
दोबारा दिख ही न पायेगा.
उस रौशनी मे जो निर्णय की रौशनी है
सब कुछ समान होगा क्या ?
एक पारडे मे नपुंसकता,
दुसरे पारडे मे पौरुष,
और ठीक तराजू के कांटे पर
अर्ध सत्य.
चक्रव्यूह मे घुसने से पहले,
कौन था मैं और कैसा था,
यह मुझे याद ही न रहेगा.
चक्रव्यूह मे घुसने के बाद,
मेरे और चक्रव्यूह के बीच,
सिर्फ एक जानलेवा निकटता थी,
इसका मुझे पता ही न चलेगा.
चक्रव्यूह से निकलने के बाद,
मैं मुक्त हो जाऊं भले ही,
फिर भी चक्रव्यूह की रचना मे
फर्क ही न पड़ेगा.
मरू या मारूं,
मारा जाऊं या जान से मार्डून,
इसका फैसला कभी न हो पायेगा.
सोया हुआ आदमी जब
नींद से उठकर चलना शुरू करता है,
तब सपनों का संसार उसे,
दोबारा दिख ही न पायेगा.
उस रौशनी मे जो निर्णय की रौशनी है
सब कुछ समान होगा क्या ?
एक पारडे मे नपुंसकता,
दुसरे पारडे मे पौरुष,
और ठीक तराजू के कांटे पर
अर्ध सत्य.
-दिलीप चित्रे
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Apology to Leo Kadanoff
I have been fortunate enough to be taught by one of the great physicists of the last century (the century - I do not need to remind anyone - of Einstein, Schrodinger, Dirac, Feynman and others..) : Prof. Leo Kadanoff. Here is a man who laid the groundwork behind some of the most profound ideas (Renormalization Group) that are a crucial part of the underpinnings of the powerful field theories that are the epitome of human attempts to understand the universe.
He taught me - in fact he is teaching me this very moment - a course on Statistical Mechanics much of which is actually material created in part by him. Many crucial ideas in the field theory course Im doing concurrently originate from him and David Tong from Cambridge who is teaching that excellent course mentioned once how sleepish he felt talking about some of these ideas with Leo Kadanoff sitting at the back of the class listening attentively.
He always comes 40 minutes before his class starts and he likes to listen to whats happening in the field theory course, and he loves to then begin his lecture by giving stat mech analogues of the field theory concepts we had been looking at. He is one of the leading proponents of 'Universality' in physics - the idea that phenomena (like critical phenomena, phase transitions) look identical across branches of physics. He likes to say, and show, how we do the same physics over and over again, the same equations reappear in completely different contexts.
He is perhaps one of the most humble most polite people Ive met. And so it is with deep - almost bitter - regret that I admit that I have not learnt much from him at all. It is my fault entirely, I simply did not make the effort necessary to appreciate and assimilate the deep concepts he was good enough to put forth enthusiastically before us, everyday, even at the age of 82. Between field theory and my indolence and laziness, I just did not do what was needed.
I am ashamed. But - if for no other reason than respect for Prof. Kadanoff - I will study and become good at Statistical Mechanics and understand renormalization before Im done with this business of theoretical physics.
I have made many similar mistakes....sleeping in PSB sir's class while he poured his heart into imparting knowledge springs immediately to mind, and perhaps I will never understand DSP and Control Systems as well as I should, but this time, I wont let it pass.
He taught me - in fact he is teaching me this very moment - a course on Statistical Mechanics much of which is actually material created in part by him. Many crucial ideas in the field theory course Im doing concurrently originate from him and David Tong from Cambridge who is teaching that excellent course mentioned once how sleepish he felt talking about some of these ideas with Leo Kadanoff sitting at the back of the class listening attentively.
He always comes 40 minutes before his class starts and he likes to listen to whats happening in the field theory course, and he loves to then begin his lecture by giving stat mech analogues of the field theory concepts we had been looking at. He is one of the leading proponents of 'Universality' in physics - the idea that phenomena (like critical phenomena, phase transitions) look identical across branches of physics. He likes to say, and show, how we do the same physics over and over again, the same equations reappear in completely different contexts.
He is perhaps one of the most humble most polite people Ive met. And so it is with deep - almost bitter - regret that I admit that I have not learnt much from him at all. It is my fault entirely, I simply did not make the effort necessary to appreciate and assimilate the deep concepts he was good enough to put forth enthusiastically before us, everyday, even at the age of 82. Between field theory and my indolence and laziness, I just did not do what was needed.
I am ashamed. But - if for no other reason than respect for Prof. Kadanoff - I will study and become good at Statistical Mechanics and understand renormalization before Im done with this business of theoretical physics.
I have made many similar mistakes....sleeping in PSB sir's class while he poured his heart into imparting knowledge springs immediately to mind, and perhaps I will never understand DSP and Control Systems as well as I should, but this time, I wont let it pass.
Monday, 14 September 2009
Update : My Year Off with Theoretical Physics in Canada :)
Hello Folks !
Its been ages since I last sent out an update mail, but that does not mean things have not been happening ! There have been many many months of desperate - and sometimes dangerous - hard work, much agonizing thought about the future, a satisfying amount of cricket, some heart burn some success and a few twists in the tale. Not to mention some inspirational teachers - maybe thats a tautology, anyone who's inspirational is automatically a teacher - and so many delightful friends it was an absolute privilege and pleasure to spend time with.
The upshot of it all is that after spending one year in Belgium sweating out some of the toughest coursework in Photonics along with the Belgians (even Caesar appreciated them - "Of all the Gauls, The Belgians are the bravest !") and one year in Scotland fretting about a singularly intractable and tedious masters thesis while chilling at the whey pat tavern with cheesy nachos after village cricket games, I have ended up in Canada at the Perimeter Institute of Theoretical Physics doing (yet another) masters degree (in Theoretical Physics, obly).
Before you ask "Why ??" and "What ????", This is my year off. Other people travel and take it easy, I got a chance to fulfill a childhood dream. I am studying general relativity at the moment and before Im done at the end of 10 months, Ill have gone through cosmology, string theory, quantum gravity and most of the rest of physics - all at someone else's expense. Its a brilliantly conceived and intense course and if you're interested, take a look at it here.
Im enjoying myself and learning a lot. What I will do after this ? Who knows. But I want to travel a lot, and I intend to settle down back in Aurangabad pretty soon. How Im goign to do that without simply abandoning all my random and fairly esoteric pursuits, I do not know, but Ill figure something out :)
Sincerely,
Prasanna
Its been ages since I last sent out an update mail, but that does not mean things have not been happening ! There have been many many months of desperate - and sometimes dangerous - hard work, much agonizing thought about the future, a satisfying amount of cricket, some heart burn some success and a few twists in the tale. Not to mention some inspirational teachers - maybe thats a tautology, anyone who's inspirational is automatically a teacher - and so many delightful friends it was an absolute privilege and pleasure to spend time with.
The upshot of it all is that after spending one year in Belgium sweating out some of the toughest coursework in Photonics along with the Belgians (even Caesar appreciated them - "Of all the Gauls, The Belgians are the bravest !") and one year in Scotland fretting about a singularly intractable and tedious masters thesis while chilling at the whey pat tavern with cheesy nachos after village cricket games, I have ended up in Canada at the Perimeter Institute of Theoretical Physics doing (yet another) masters degree (in Theoretical Physics, obly).
Before you ask "Why ??" and "What ????", This is my year off. Other people travel and take it easy, I got a chance to fulfill a childhood dream. I am studying general relativity at the moment and before Im done at the end of 10 months, Ill have gone through cosmology, string theory, quantum gravity and most of the rest of physics - all at someone else's expense. Its a brilliantly conceived and intense course and if you're interested, take a look at it here.
Im enjoying myself and learning a lot. What I will do after this ? Who knows. But I want to travel a lot, and I intend to settle down back in Aurangabad pretty soon. How Im goign to do that without simply abandoning all my random and fairly esoteric pursuits, I do not know, but Ill figure something out :)
Sincerely,
Prasanna
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Free to Dream
"Be very protective of your enthusiasm. Dont let anything affect that ! If you find yourself getting stressed out, if classes seem too much, take a break. This course is for you to figure out what you want to do with your life....but we have definitely packed it with too much stuff !" (or words to that effect)
- Dr. Neil Turok to the PSI students
There are idealists in the world who create wonderful things, wonderful places, wonderful situations and I am in one of them right now, among amazing people. To bring enthusiastic people together and give them everything they need and give them the freedom to dream, think and create new ideas for mankind....surely we need a lot more such places ! As David Deutsch so eloquently said in this talk, the survival of mankind depends on the ability of our species to create the knowledge that we require to solve the massive (existential) crises that we will face sooner or later.
Im really keen to see if I can actually do what Im supposed to do now that Im here : make a real and significant contribution to my species - Humankind and to my planet - Earth, so that we may hope to live and explore and carry to distant corners of spacetime the me
mories of Earth. We will certainly be extinct one day, but will we leave behind only a few primitive ruins on one planet of one obscure system ? Proof that we never grew up, that we remained small minded and spiteful and primitive ? Or will a million wrecks on a million distant and inhospitable worlds bear testimony to how far beyond its 'natural' mandate this unworthy chemical scum went, exploring the universe simply because it is there !
In The Songs of Distant Earth Clarke mentions a story of a frozen leopard carcass found near the top of Kilimanjaro. (the story happens to be The Snows of Kilimanjaro by Hemingway and almost certainly true) and wonders what the leopard was doing there....what was it seeking in those bleak icy slopes when the plains below - its natural home - abounded with game ?
Image - New Scientist
Im really keen to see if I can actually do what Im supposed to do now that Im here : make a real and significant contribution to my species - Humankind and to my planet - Earth, so that we may hope to live and explore and carry to distant corners of spacetime the me
mories of Earth. We will certainly be extinct one day, but will we leave behind only a few primitive ruins on one planet of one obscure system ? Proof that we never grew up, that we remained small minded and spiteful and primitive ? Or will a million wrecks on a million distant and inhospitable worlds bear testimony to how far beyond its 'natural' mandate this unworthy chemical scum went, exploring the universe simply because it is there !In The Songs of Distant Earth Clarke mentions a story of a frozen leopard carcass found near the top of Kilimanjaro. (the story happens to be The Snows of Kilimanjaro by Hemingway and almost certainly true) and wonders what the leopard was doing there....what was it seeking in those bleak icy slopes when the plains below - its natural home - abounded with game ?
The Earth is the cradle of the mind, but we cannot live forever in a cradle...
Image - New Scientist
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Perimeter !
Im in Waterloo, ON, Canada now, and classes at the Perimeter Institute start tomorrow :)
All blogs specific to the Perimeter Institute and my activities here will go here. This blog will continue as it is of course....that one will be a little more tech/subject oriented.
All blogs specific to the Perimeter Institute and my activities here will go here. This blog will continue as it is of course....that one will be a little more tech/subject oriented.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
2. The Son of the Soil
The hard, strenuous life is not for me
And Ive always shunned all labour and toil
That being as it may be
I still wish I was a son of the soil.
As a toddler he played in the puddles
On the track that led to my farm
As I swerved my car to avoid him
He smiled at me without alarm.
Ive seen him walking to school
The wind blowing rain in his face
He's barefoot with a well ironed shirt
Completely at ease in his place.
I pass him by in my car
Insulated from the wind and the rain
and the dirt and germs and the people and pain
and my country and its lovely refrain.
Ive seen him standing at the tea stall
With his cutting chai in his hand
With chappals that have never seen a mall
He's at ease, he belongs to the land.
I pick my way through the garbage
Looking away from the beggars I pity
He strides by with a spring in his step
A villager at ease in my city.
Ive never seen envy in his eyes
and I see him every now and again
He knows he knows and hears what I dont
Our country and its lovely refrain.
I have much and seen many lands
An interesting life without toil
And every moment Im back in my country
I wish I was a son of the soil.
-Yours Truly.
Monday, 6 July 2009
1. The Master of Science
Much has happened since I last posted anything here. I finished my thesis, I left St. Andrews, I went to Belgium, I had a great time, I left Belgium and I came to India. Along the way I picked up my degree and became a certified 'Master of Science' while drifting as far away from being able to weave the various threads of my life into one harmonoius 'shimmering tapestry' as I have ever been. I - for once - feel reasonably competent at what I do while I have become more aware than ever of the utterly incomprehensible vastness of the abyss that remains beyond all knowledge.
Someone once told me that science is an ever expanding frontier of ignorance. At the Perimeter Institute this coming year I will be transported from one edge of that frontier of ignorance to another, from technology and engineering research to theories and speculations of the most fundamental nature - powerful, far removed and abstruse. In all this esoteric knowledge seeking and continent hopping I have conveniently ignored what I consider my fundamental duties - to have an income, a family and generally make my parent's lives more pleasant in ways more immediate and real than the abstract achievements of research and academia.
I would have loved to write about the absolutely brilliant time I had at the EMMP Summer School in Gent, the fantastic people I met, old friends, old haunts in a city I have come to love and the goodbyes, the firm handshakes and the promises to meet again. A beautiful place, good people and healthy emotion resting comfortably on a bedrock of learning and competence - i.e. all the things that make life worth living were present in generous quantities at that summer school but I can no longer write about any of it. I have spent barely 3 days in India and it has overwhelmed me. The delicate and pleasing emotions that are so natural in the genteel environs of Gent have been swept away by a violent and painfully enjoyable barrage of crowds, memories, relations, conventions, smells, foods, stories and lives.
One must follow one's dreams - that I cannot bring myself to doubt but where does the pursuit of knowledge fit in this mad milieu of noise, money, passion, tragedy and history ? Is this not the first fight I must fight ? To create a bubble of happiness and maintain it till my children take over the job ? Has my father not done this all his adult life, and done it brilliantly without a word, is this not where I still return for guidance and solace and comfort ? I give advice while doing precious little to lend a hand, should I not be helping to strenghten our lovely bubble, expanding it and decorating it, so that my family can rest secure, and my dad can walk without the weight of responsibility on his shoulders for the first time in 30 years ? Is this not my first duty ?
It is. And I have no clue how what I am doing is going to help me discharge it. Im running on faith and hope. India is a wonderful place - painfully, violently, enjoyable. Much more naked and up front than the west ever is. There is more passion and drama on any road in Mumbai than all the couples in all the squares of Paris. India is like a raging river, invitingly mad, cruel and sad, fey and boisterous, shiny and old, silly and wise, it is everything to everyone and I want to jump in and experience it again but I cant. Im in the river but I dont get wet, the water flows over and around me without touching me. I dont look, sound or feel like I can handle the torrents that flow through the veins of India and so I am spared and excluded.
Mumbai speaks to me no longer, it seems I can but watch from afar - I no longer see myself in the people on the roads, I see strangers and I wish I was them, with them, sharing their city, listening to their stories which form the story of the city and the country, my country. Master of Science with 'Great Distinction' is nothing. In my homeland, at home, I have not done my bit, my character hardly has a role while everyone waits for the main protagonist to step up and play his part.
Here, I am no one, I barely exist.
And thats all that matters.
Someone once told me that science is an ever expanding frontier of ignorance. At the Perimeter Institute this coming year I will be transported from one edge of that frontier of ignorance to another, from technology and engineering research to theories and speculations of the most fundamental nature - powerful, far removed and abstruse. In all this esoteric knowledge seeking and continent hopping I have conveniently ignored what I consider my fundamental duties - to have an income, a family and generally make my parent's lives more pleasant in ways more immediate and real than the abstract achievements of research and academia.
I would have loved to write about the absolutely brilliant time I had at the EMMP Summer School in Gent, the fantastic people I met, old friends, old haunts in a city I have come to love and the goodbyes, the firm handshakes and the promises to meet again. A beautiful place, good people and healthy emotion resting comfortably on a bedrock of learning and competence - i.e. all the things that make life worth living were present in generous quantities at that summer school but I can no longer write about any of it. I have spent barely 3 days in India and it has overwhelmed me. The delicate and pleasing emotions that are so natural in the genteel environs of Gent have been swept away by a violent and painfully enjoyable barrage of crowds, memories, relations, conventions, smells, foods, stories and lives.
One must follow one's dreams - that I cannot bring myself to doubt but where does the pursuit of knowledge fit in this mad milieu of noise, money, passion, tragedy and history ? Is this not the first fight I must fight ? To create a bubble of happiness and maintain it till my children take over the job ? Has my father not done this all his adult life, and done it brilliantly without a word, is this not where I still return for guidance and solace and comfort ? I give advice while doing precious little to lend a hand, should I not be helping to strenghten our lovely bubble, expanding it and decorating it, so that my family can rest secure, and my dad can walk without the weight of responsibility on his shoulders for the first time in 30 years ? Is this not my first duty ?
It is. And I have no clue how what I am doing is going to help me discharge it. Im running on faith and hope. India is a wonderful place - painfully, violently, enjoyable. Much more naked and up front than the west ever is. There is more passion and drama on any road in Mumbai than all the couples in all the squares of Paris. India is like a raging river, invitingly mad, cruel and sad, fey and boisterous, shiny and old, silly and wise, it is everything to everyone and I want to jump in and experience it again but I cant. Im in the river but I dont get wet, the water flows over and around me without touching me. I dont look, sound or feel like I can handle the torrents that flow through the veins of India and so I am spared and excluded.
Mumbai speaks to me no longer, it seems I can but watch from afar - I no longer see myself in the people on the roads, I see strangers and I wish I was them, with them, sharing their city, listening to their stories which form the story of the city and the country, my country. Master of Science with 'Great Distinction' is nothing. In my homeland, at home, I have not done my bit, my character hardly has a role while everyone waits for the main protagonist to step up and play his part.
Here, I am no one, I barely exist.
And thats all that matters.
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Thursday, 23 April 2009
By Request, A real conversation and (Indian) Geeks
What follows is a real conversation the likes of which I have had many times, with various friends, in various flavours, and it never ceases to delight me :)
All you socially successful, girlfriend toting, well dressed, well adjusted soon to be rich non and ex techies out there ! You might think you have it all, but you cant match our innocent Wodehousian humor and good natured angst :)
anyway, here goes ! :)
me: why cliff ? taken up rock climbing ?
Comet: no..i want to jump off one
me: why ?
Comet: i screwed up the one chance i got after
(i cant even remember how long)
me: chance at what ?
Comet: a girl (with a tattoo on her arm) walks up to me
and chats me up...
me: WHAT :)
wow
how ?
where ?
Comet: and all i ask her in the end is "are u on facebook"
and she says 'no'
which i take as 'I'm not interested'
and buzz off
but it turns out, she really isn't on facebook
can u believe that
me: ohho
so big deal
talk to her again na
Comet: i need to get out into the real world beyond the Internet
me: :)
yes
but who is she ?
where did you meet her ?
Comet: we had a family/friends get-together and
she was the cousin of a friend..
me: vah :)
so you can easily meet her again na
Comet: i suck man...now i cant even focus on work...
i have no contact of her, unless i ask her cousin..
who will understand I'm hitting on her
me: oh gawd
we are all from the big bang theory man.
we're all from inside the sitcom.
easily we will fit in.
Comet: haha..yeah...
me: what deep and profound problems we have !
what lives and what conversations :)
Comet: i hope i get over her quickly
me: oh god...Im laughing and everyone
in office is looking at me :)
Comet: :D
me too but nobody's looking..most have gone home
to the real world
me: we have to get over girls simply
because they spoke to us :)
Comet: what else are they supposed to do to express interest?
me: Ive got to meet all of you again quickly da..
before you get gfs and wives and settle down
and the magic is gone....
no no....you got me wrong.
we're not supposed to be so desperate
that we have to "get over" a simple
expression of interest :)
Comet: haha..yeah, but my CV on these matters does not
afford me that luxury
I'm desperate by design of nature
me: :D what does that even mean !
Comet: how the f**k can i hold a conversation with
a arts graduate (she was one)
i think I'll sign off gtalk, and bury myself
in work now.
work is worship .. work is worship
bye..
me: oh god :)
and I know what you mean.
I cant talk to them myself..mostly,
they talk rubbish :P
"..Yes I am a Nerd, and when the ancestors of the right honourable gentleman were hoodwinking people with preposterous pomposities in the temples of tomfoolery, mine were erecting the pillars of rationality and empiricism upon which our civilization stands....."
-Something I might have said in the Union Debating Society of St Andrews, but dint.
And please, my friends, No Names in the Comments please !
All you socially successful, girlfriend toting, well dressed, well adjusted soon to be rich non and ex techies out there ! You might think you have it all, but you cant match our innocent Wodehousian humor and good natured angst :)
anyway, here goes ! :)
me: why cliff ? taken up rock climbing ?
Comet: no..i want to jump off one
me: why ?
Comet: i screwed up the one chance i got after
(i cant even remember how long)
me: chance at what ?
Comet: a girl (with a tattoo on her arm) walks up to me
and chats me up...
me: WHAT :)
wow
how ?
where ?
Comet: and all i ask her in the end is "are u on facebook"
and she says 'no'
which i take as 'I'm not interested'
and buzz off
but it turns out, she really isn't on facebook
can u believe that
me: ohho
so big deal
talk to her again na
Comet: i need to get out into the real world beyond the Internet
me: :)
yes
but who is she ?
where did you meet her ?
Comet: we had a family/friends get-together and
she was the cousin of a friend..
me: vah :)
so you can easily meet her again na
Comet: i suck man...now i cant even focus on work...
i have no contact of her, unless i ask her cousin..
who will understand I'm hitting on her
me: oh gawd
we are all from the big bang theory man.
we're all from inside the sitcom.
easily we will fit in.
Comet: haha..yeah...
me: what deep and profound problems we have !
what lives and what conversations :)
Comet: i hope i get over her quickly
me: oh god...Im laughing and everyone
in office is looking at me :)
Comet: :D
me too but nobody's looking..most have gone home
to the real world
me: we have to get over girls simply
because they spoke to us :)
Comet: what else are they supposed to do to express interest?
me: Ive got to meet all of you again quickly da..
before you get gfs and wives and settle down
and the magic is gone....
no no....you got me wrong.
we're not supposed to be so desperate
that we have to "get over" a simple
expression of interest :)
Comet: haha..yeah, but my CV on these matters does not
afford me that luxury
I'm desperate by design of nature
me: :D what does that even mean !
Comet: how the f**k can i hold a conversation with
a arts graduate (she was one)
i think I'll sign off gtalk, and bury myself
in work now.
work is worship .. work is worship
bye..
me: oh god :)
and I know what you mean.
I cant talk to them myself..mostly,
they talk rubbish :P
"..Yes I am a Nerd, and when the ancestors of the right honourable gentleman were hoodwinking people with preposterous pomposities in the temples of tomfoolery, mine were erecting the pillars of rationality and empiricism upon which our civilization stands....."
-Something I might have said in the Union Debating Society of St Andrews, but dint.
And please, my friends, No Names in the Comments please !
Monday, 20 April 2009
"..and oh, The difference to me !"
There is a blogger in my mind. She has been a part of many of my dreams and in each one I come to know her a little better - through her blog, a common friend, a news flash or an internet message board. Ive never interacted with her personally but I seem to have grown quite fond of her. In my last dream however, she died. And turned what was otherwise a slightly strange but intriguing and pleasant dream into a nightmare that woke me up - not with fear (which is common) but with mind numbing sadness (which is not). This is about her. In trying to capture her in words I will try and put down only what I seem to remember and not embellish or do violence to the delicate impression of her I hold in my mind. But putting her in words is necessary, lest I forget.
I seem to think - but Im not sure - that she was from Chennai. English speaking and sophisticated without being less South Indian because of it. I always imagined her in embroidered long kurtas and jeans, unremarkable but pleasant. She must have been 26-27 perhaps, single and living apart from her parents and family. At least, the impression I got was of a comfortable urban loneliness born out of an interesting but independent life. Im not sure what her occupation was, or even what her interests were. I did know however, that she was HIV positive. And her story seemed to start there.
It appeared that she was involved with activism of some kind a few years ago, and that led to some sort of enmity with the local police. Or was it some form moral policing that got her into trouble with the authorities ? It seems possible but Im not sure. But something dark and traumatic happened and in her blogs it always seems to have remained nebulous. In other sources many different stories were talked about, but my mind never seems to have settled on one. Seeing the darkness of her past that seemed to hang over her always, I was more melancholy than curious. The upshot of it was that she ended up HIV positive and the police were somehow, unprovably, murkily - perhaps indirectly - to blame for it.
Her blogs were about her day to day life which was quite pleasant and independent it seems. I associate no bitterness and anger with her, so she must have spoken about her battle with HIV and other daemons without any angst. Nor is it pity that comes to mind when I think of her so she must have come across as an independent self sufficient person. I respect her immensely for these things. There is little else, save that I felt very tender towards her and wanted her to be happy.
In my last dream, I was walking around with a motley cast from various phases of my life in a dark and cold hill station, looking for something but Im not sure what. I was offered roasted corn at a lonely stall by an acquaintance from college (who was in rough outdoor clothes, he had apparently joined some kind of communist insurgency) who said the tattered 5 rupee note he held came from a stash that a recently departed acquaintance of ours had been giving to him for years, to "finance the next revolution". But he did not really care, "Lets have butta" he said. I politely refused. Later, we were having ice cream which I did not like at a open air restaurant which was full but still eerily quiet while a pretty girl I had known years ago at school was flirting across me with some half drunk friend of a friend who had just joined us. Thats when I received a call from a person who I did not really know. He was some gay student I had never met, and he was crying on the phone. He told me that she had died.
I hung up the call, sank to my knees feeling intense sadness, numb, heavy and dark.
And then I woke up.
Disturbed and lonely at 4.54 in the morning.
All very strange and vivid . . .
Who is she ? Is she inspired by some real person ? Why is she in my mind ? but most of all, Why did she die ?
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye!
--Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!
I seem to think - but Im not sure - that she was from Chennai. English speaking and sophisticated without being less South Indian because of it. I always imagined her in embroidered long kurtas and jeans, unremarkable but pleasant. She must have been 26-27 perhaps, single and living apart from her parents and family. At least, the impression I got was of a comfortable urban loneliness born out of an interesting but independent life. Im not sure what her occupation was, or even what her interests were. I did know however, that she was HIV positive. And her story seemed to start there.
It appeared that she was involved with activism of some kind a few years ago, and that led to some sort of enmity with the local police. Or was it some form moral policing that got her into trouble with the authorities ? It seems possible but Im not sure. But something dark and traumatic happened and in her blogs it always seems to have remained nebulous. In other sources many different stories were talked about, but my mind never seems to have settled on one. Seeing the darkness of her past that seemed to hang over her always, I was more melancholy than curious. The upshot of it was that she ended up HIV positive and the police were somehow, unprovably, murkily - perhaps indirectly - to blame for it.
Her blogs were about her day to day life which was quite pleasant and independent it seems. I associate no bitterness and anger with her, so she must have spoken about her battle with HIV and other daemons without any angst. Nor is it pity that comes to mind when I think of her so she must have come across as an independent self sufficient person. I respect her immensely for these things. There is little else, save that I felt very tender towards her and wanted her to be happy.
In my last dream, I was walking around with a motley cast from various phases of my life in a dark and cold hill station, looking for something but Im not sure what. I was offered roasted corn at a lonely stall by an acquaintance from college (who was in rough outdoor clothes, he had apparently joined some kind of communist insurgency) who said the tattered 5 rupee note he held came from a stash that a recently departed acquaintance of ours had been giving to him for years, to "finance the next revolution". But he did not really care, "Lets have butta" he said. I politely refused. Later, we were having ice cream which I did not like at a open air restaurant which was full but still eerily quiet while a pretty girl I had known years ago at school was flirting across me with some half drunk friend of a friend who had just joined us. Thats when I received a call from a person who I did not really know. He was some gay student I had never met, and he was crying on the phone. He told me that she had died.
I hung up the call, sank to my knees feeling intense sadness, numb, heavy and dark.
And then I woke up.
Disturbed and lonely at 4.54 in the morning.
All very strange and vivid . . .
Who is she ? Is she inspired by some real person ? Why is she in my mind ? but most of all, Why did she die ?
She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways
- William Wordsworth
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye!
--Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Our Place in the Cosmos by David Deutsch
A TED talk by David Deutsch - brilliant and inspiring. It sort of reinforces and enlarges the point I tried to make in the post below. The guy is obviously a genius.
http://theclarkeorbit.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
A Story in Snapshots
Chandigarh, India. January 2002
Two boys sixteen - seventeen years of age are walking down a deserted tree lined boulevard in the twilight on a cold north Indian winter evening. To a casual onlooker they might seem like any two jaunty and excessively happy boys incongruously loud on that mute road, thick with the absence of people the way only an Indian street can be. A more interested observer would have noticed an ecstatic glow on their faces, joy and wonder in their voices and a strange awed exultation in their manner. If the observer had sidled in to within earshot, he might have heard them searching for adjectives to follow "brilliant", "beautiful", "superb", "amazing".....and they seemed to be interspersed with a smattering of topics in general physics and math along with the recurring phrase "N**** Sir".
Surathkal, India. January 2005
A young chap in a loose t shirt and jeans with longish hair and some stubble walks along a beach lined with palms and thick tropical shrubbery. The sun is setting behind the restive waves and he is vaguely aware of the beauty of the scene that surrounds him, the long evening, the tropical breeze tempered by winter, the lighthouse on the hill some distance ahead of him, the people who all seem impossibly distant - their voices carried to him intermittently by the winds. His mind is far away, his spirit is defiant but cracked - though he does not know it yet. He thinks back to the last semester - the ragging and the pressure, his marks, electronics, the stress and his lab partner who went home and never came back. He wonders at his friends who burst into tears in class and others who stood around the campus staring into nothingness.
His mind wanders further back, to the stunning failure that brought him to this place, the indescribable year that went before it and the original failure before that. And finally, with a touch of bitterness he thinks of the two boys walking down that street in Chandigarh - excited and happy in the knowledge that a master had assured them that they had exceptional talent. He remembers the advice the master had given him - do physics, you'll do well at it. He does not regret having ignored those words, (this is India, he could not do a BSc ! and besides, engineering secured his economic future) but he marvels at how quickly his dreams have disintegrated and how quickly "talent" seems to vanish.
Gent, Belgium. January 2008
A young guy in a big black climbing jacket hurries through a cold drizzle on a dark chilly winters' evening. He does not notice the cobbled streets or the lovely medieval buildings. He is mentally kicking himself for not studying when he could have, and getting himself into a tight situation just before his exams. He does not know the hard labour that nanotechnology entails and he is enamored by the power of the concepts he should have absorbed. He is desperate to impress the brilliant professors who taught him so much in the preceding 4 months, and he thinks happily of all the classes he sat through excited and thrilled. "Almost as good as N**** Sir" he thinks to himself. Almost. Deeply grateful for the scholarship and the brilliant teaching, he really wants to do well. He splashes through a puddle and promises to do a good job.
St. Andrews, Scotland. March 2009
A slightly tired looking man in a long black overcoat enters his comfortable room late at night. He has had a good Saturday, though his masters thesis is not going too well. He has interesting friends and plenty of good conversation. He also knows what he is going to do with the next 5 years of his life - an engineering phd with the general aim of someday starting his own company. It seems a little dull and he is vaguely uncomfortable, but he knows he is good at it, his most likely chance of applying his skills to an exotic field has not worked out, and there is nothing that good company and good food along with a spot of cricket cannot cure. He is teeteering on the edge of settling down in life.
He slips into more comfortable clothes and switches on his computer, his mind peacefully sifting through images and snatches of conversations from a day out with friends. He opens his mail box and clicks on the only mail among dozens whose subject line is different from the ones that he sees everyday. His mind does not register the words, but suddenly it hits him. He has been admitted to a elite, intense, 10 month masters course in theoretical physics that pays for all the expenses and needs of the students. He cannot believe it. He is an engineer. He comes from an Indian business family. He will have a masters degree in a few months. He wants and needs to make money. Theoretical physics means completely flying off the rails ! A jump into the unknown ! All these things flash through his mind in a second, and he smiles and knows he will go for it.
He tells his parents (and is relieved at their obvious delight upon hearing the news) and friends. Once the initial euphoria has died down, he takes a deep breath and thinks of N**** sir, childhood dreams, engineering, all the trials and tribulations along the way....and he knows that soon, he will write the most proud and satisfying mail he has ever written.
Dear N**** Sir......
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Contemplation and Cricket
Life can get very boggy and slow at times, lonely and low and stuffy. When everyday work seems like a drag and things dont seem to be going anywhere, when there seem to be no friends and no fun, when nothing seems interesting and the mind withers before a flickering screen and the body atrophies into despairing weakness. And then, onto the flickering screen appears a notice, a message offering not just hope and solace, but rebirth. The Staff and Postgraduate Cricket Club is hosting indoor nets. All are welcome for a fee of 2 pounds.
There is trepidation and hesitation, painful memories of awkward and clumsy performances with old comrades who are forced to be polite out of respect for old triumphs shared, humoring the team mate who cant play anymore but has not realized it yet. Painful memories accentuated by the mind shrunk over many cooped up harried and stressful years, needless needless, a youth needlessly thrown away for an adulthood improperly received. Can the old chap play again ? Can the cobwebs of the mind be cleared away by the winds of graceful freshness and sage history that blow and watch over every cricketing green ? They give 22 minds in pure white the chance to test themselves, their subtlety, character, health and peace, and they imbue them with those qualities. Can it happen again ?
Oh the joy to be had from the satisfying sound of ball hitting the sweet spot of the bat and flying away with no perceptible effort, the ease of instinctive movement to play a good shot as if this was what the hands were born to do, feet getting into position, head still, the bat a graceful arc, batting more akin to kenjutsu than baseball, more to do with meditation than with hitting.
There is hesitation, yes, but there is also for some reason the knowledge that this is an idea, a dream, whose time has come. And so the nets come to pass. He marks his run up. Shoulders aching, feet stiff, there is not much pace in the deliveries but the run up seems rhythmic and the action smooth, and the balls land on a good length again and again and again. He can play. And thus the ice is broken, players introduce themselves without cause, the ball seems to snuggle in the hand, there is suddenly an extra nip off the matting wicket. A few balls are dispatched to the boundary and a few beat the bat and then it is time to pad up. This is the real test...this is where things can go wrong, but the mind is surprisingly calm and focused. The bat seems perfect, the first ball comes in and rattles the stumps. The possibility of panicking is considered and discarded. Know where your off stump is, take guard, go through the rituals, look at the ball and cleanse the mind.
A tall fast man races in with a newish red cherry in his hand, it pitches at a goodlength outside off holding its line, but suddenly its path through to the keeper is interrupted by the smooth swing of the bat close beside a front foot that is already in position to hit the ball on the up and through the line and the sweetest sound in the world sends a red blur careening towards the covers before the net stops it. Time stands still, clarity. The bowler at the end of his follow through nods and claps "Good shot sir !"
Rebirth.
There is no going back.
There is trepidation and hesitation, painful memories of awkward and clumsy performances with old comrades who are forced to be polite out of respect for old triumphs shared, humoring the team mate who cant play anymore but has not realized it yet. Painful memories accentuated by the mind shrunk over many cooped up harried and stressful years, needless needless, a youth needlessly thrown away for an adulthood improperly received. Can the old chap play again ? Can the cobwebs of the mind be cleared away by the winds of graceful freshness and sage history that blow and watch over every cricketing green ? They give 22 minds in pure white the chance to test themselves, their subtlety, character, health and peace, and they imbue them with those qualities. Can it happen again ?
Oh the joy to be had from the satisfying sound of ball hitting the sweet spot of the bat and flying away with no perceptible effort, the ease of instinctive movement to play a good shot as if this was what the hands were born to do, feet getting into position, head still, the bat a graceful arc, batting more akin to kenjutsu than baseball, more to do with meditation than with hitting.
There is hesitation, yes, but there is also for some reason the knowledge that this is an idea, a dream, whose time has come. And so the nets come to pass. He marks his run up. Shoulders aching, feet stiff, there is not much pace in the deliveries but the run up seems rhythmic and the action smooth, and the balls land on a good length again and again and again. He can play. And thus the ice is broken, players introduce themselves without cause, the ball seems to snuggle in the hand, there is suddenly an extra nip off the matting wicket. A few balls are dispatched to the boundary and a few beat the bat and then it is time to pad up. This is the real test...this is where things can go wrong, but the mind is surprisingly calm and focused. The bat seems perfect, the first ball comes in and rattles the stumps. The possibility of panicking is considered and discarded. Know where your off stump is, take guard, go through the rituals, look at the ball and cleanse the mind.
A tall fast man races in with a newish red cherry in his hand, it pitches at a goodlength outside off holding its line, but suddenly its path through to the keeper is interrupted by the smooth swing of the bat close beside a front foot that is already in position to hit the ball on the up and through the line and the sweetest sound in the world sends a red blur careening towards the covers before the net stops it. Time stands still, clarity. The bowler at the end of his follow through nods and claps "Good shot sir !"
Rebirth.
There is no going back.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Cheer up Fed, Cheer up.
It was heartrending to watch Federer break down after his defeat in the Australian Open final after what turned out to be a tame and sloppy final set by him. It was really too much to watch.
But Victory, when it comes, will be sweeter for all this.
Friday, 23 January 2009
On Politics.
When I say "politics", I mean it in the broadest and loftiest possible sense of the word, not the petty machinations of lying knaves which is what it has come to mean to most people in India. A prosaic working definition could be "The process by which groups make decisions.". I will start by defining what I consider to be the "National Interest" and by 'national' I do not mean 'Indian' but more generally, the interest of whatever interconnected and interdependent human society we happen to be considering. I will outline a goal of sorts - what I think we ought to try and achieve - and then I will give my thoughts about how/why it might or might not be attained and then Ill conclude with a few remarks about India.
The Magic Carpet.
The aim should be a society which carries every member on a 'magic carpet' and does not allow any of its members to fall below a certain standard of living. This magic carpet is something that the society as a whole provides to every one of its members - each of whome contributes to its upkeep. The following ought to be guaranteed -
1> Security. Everyone should be free to conduct their lives without fear of death or material disruption. This includes protection from severe weather etc. The basic resources necessary to exist.
2> Food. Everyone should have ample access to varied and wholesome food.
3> Healthcare. Everyone should have access to medical facilities.
4> Education. Everyone should have the chance to attend university level education.
5> Opportunity and Freedom.
6> Leisure. Yes, leisure. Each and every person in society should have the time, the resources, and the security needed to indulge in leisure activities, because it is from these that human happiness most often flows. Everyone should have time in which they are free to do whatever they like, it is such activity that most often leads to the breakthroughs that take our civilization forward.
Is it Possible ?
From a purely engineering point of view, the answer would be a definite Yes. The resources and the technology needed to bring this about exist. I might even go so far as to say, it has been technically possible for a long time now. The real problem is an economic one - How to allocate resources and lay down norms to create and sustain this sort of system. An ideal society has many other characteristics of course, like sustainability, but we will not go into those at the moment.
The State.
The state is the agent through which a society carries out its collective responsibilities (such as security, health, education, law and order etc) and regulates itself. For example, if a society collectively decides that "stealing is bad, and those who steal must be put in prison", then it is the responsibility of the state to conceive and enforce this law. This is of course, in theory. In reality, the state - whatever its origins, history or ideology - consists of a ruling elite which looks after its own interests rather than those of the society it rules. Laws in this situation, are a tool to manipulate and regulate society in order to enable the ruling elite to pursue their aims. All too often, their interests are divergent from the interests of the society, and this is illustrated by human history which is filled with rich aristocrats ruling for millennia over impoverished and helpless populations.
Again and again, civilizations and societies have come to grief because the short term interests of the elite did not coincide with the long term interests of the people. Again and again, the existence of an unchallenged ruling elite has inevitably led to suffering, poverty and eventually, to collapse. This is precisely the issue that Democracy attempts to address. By making the ruling class dependent on the people to continue in power, it forces the elite to factor into its calculations the interests of the masses. If the elite wants to continue to rule, they must be seen to be looking after the interests of the majority of the population. A fairly good solution one might say, though of course, whether the elite is taking care of the long term interests of the society or not is entirely a dependent on how demanding and perceptive the masses are. Which also seems fair, they get what they deserve. There are many other institutions that a democracy needs in order to function, but those will be considered to be implicit when we use the word 'democracy'.
The subversion of Democracy
As one can see, for a democracy to function - i.e. for the ruling elite to feel the imperative need to look after the interests of the masses - there needs to be choice. There needs to be an option that the people can vote for, an alternate set of people who promise and can deliver what the current ruling elite have failed to do. And if such an alternative does not exist, then a democracy (a good one) provides people with every reason to jump into the fray and provide the alternative themselves. This is crucial - for a democracy to be properly functional, common people should be able to contest elections and provide the alternative to the ruling elite that has not delivered. It is here that most large democracies - and especially India - fail.
The bane of Indian Democracy is the rise of a political class with very high barriers of entry implemented through a multi-layered system. Basic neccessities of Indian politics such as vast quantities of (black) money, availability of street muscle and so on, ensure that the vast majority of Indians cannot venture into politics. Thus, the Indian political elite remains - to a large extent - unchallenged. They swap power among themselves, and the elections are bitterly contested, but they all belong to a class who have broadly common interests. None of them want an enlightened, educated and empowered population. None of them want fair and effective law enforcement agencies or an efficient judiciary. None of them are interested in cracking down on organized crime, enforcing financial laws or cleaning up hooligans from the street. All for the simple reason that even though these things are obviously desirable for society at large, they are not in the interest of the Indian ruling elite and it is these interests which the Indian state - as of now - most closely defends and promotes.
Fundamentally, the Indian political class is not interested in removing the socio-economic conditions that ail our people and cripple our country. And they can get away with it because they have ensured - as a collective - that Indian Democracy cannot throw up a credible alternative that better looks after the interests of its people. Thus, it is the high barriers for entry into politics that most subvert our democracy. They maintain their power in the crudest possible manner, by beating up the new comer who dares to stand for election, by threatening his family, by buying him out. And anyone who 'makes it' in indian politics, is forced by the political class to become one of them - he needs the hooligans, he needs the money, and thus, he needs the political class and cannot rebel.
To sum it up -
Low barrier for entry into politics => Choice => state protecting interests of the people and a mature evolving functional democracy => evolution towards a better society with less suffering and more enlightenment and peace, thus freeing up more resources for endeavors of vision and courage such as the exploration of space, the quest for longevity and the search for truth and meaning.
The Magic Carpet.
The aim should be a society which carries every member on a 'magic carpet' and does not allow any of its members to fall below a certain standard of living. This magic carpet is something that the society as a whole provides to every one of its members - each of whome contributes to its upkeep. The following ought to be guaranteed -
1> Security. Everyone should be free to conduct their lives without fear of death or material disruption. This includes protection from severe weather etc. The basic resources necessary to exist.
2> Food. Everyone should have ample access to varied and wholesome food.
3> Healthcare. Everyone should have access to medical facilities.
4> Education. Everyone should have the chance to attend university level education.
5> Opportunity and Freedom.
6> Leisure. Yes, leisure. Each and every person in society should have the time, the resources, and the security needed to indulge in leisure activities, because it is from these that human happiness most often flows. Everyone should have time in which they are free to do whatever they like, it is such activity that most often leads to the breakthroughs that take our civilization forward.
Is it Possible ?
From a purely engineering point of view, the answer would be a definite Yes. The resources and the technology needed to bring this about exist. I might even go so far as to say, it has been technically possible for a long time now. The real problem is an economic one - How to allocate resources and lay down norms to create and sustain this sort of system. An ideal society has many other characteristics of course, like sustainability, but we will not go into those at the moment.
The State.
The state is the agent through which a society carries out its collective responsibilities (such as security, health, education, law and order etc) and regulates itself. For example, if a society collectively decides that "stealing is bad, and those who steal must be put in prison", then it is the responsibility of the state to conceive and enforce this law. This is of course, in theory. In reality, the state - whatever its origins, history or ideology - consists of a ruling elite which looks after its own interests rather than those of the society it rules. Laws in this situation, are a tool to manipulate and regulate society in order to enable the ruling elite to pursue their aims. All too often, their interests are divergent from the interests of the society, and this is illustrated by human history which is filled with rich aristocrats ruling for millennia over impoverished and helpless populations.
Again and again, civilizations and societies have come to grief because the short term interests of the elite did not coincide with the long term interests of the people. Again and again, the existence of an unchallenged ruling elite has inevitably led to suffering, poverty and eventually, to collapse. This is precisely the issue that Democracy attempts to address. By making the ruling class dependent on the people to continue in power, it forces the elite to factor into its calculations the interests of the masses. If the elite wants to continue to rule, they must be seen to be looking after the interests of the majority of the population. A fairly good solution one might say, though of course, whether the elite is taking care of the long term interests of the society or not is entirely a dependent on how demanding and perceptive the masses are. Which also seems fair, they get what they deserve. There are many other institutions that a democracy needs in order to function, but those will be considered to be implicit when we use the word 'democracy'.
The subversion of Democracy
As one can see, for a democracy to function - i.e. for the ruling elite to feel the imperative need to look after the interests of the masses - there needs to be choice. There needs to be an option that the people can vote for, an alternate set of people who promise and can deliver what the current ruling elite have failed to do. And if such an alternative does not exist, then a democracy (a good one) provides people with every reason to jump into the fray and provide the alternative themselves. This is crucial - for a democracy to be properly functional, common people should be able to contest elections and provide the alternative to the ruling elite that has not delivered. It is here that most large democracies - and especially India - fail.
The bane of Indian Democracy is the rise of a political class with very high barriers of entry implemented through a multi-layered system. Basic neccessities of Indian politics such as vast quantities of (black) money, availability of street muscle and so on, ensure that the vast majority of Indians cannot venture into politics. Thus, the Indian political elite remains - to a large extent - unchallenged. They swap power among themselves, and the elections are bitterly contested, but they all belong to a class who have broadly common interests. None of them want an enlightened, educated and empowered population. None of them want fair and effective law enforcement agencies or an efficient judiciary. None of them are interested in cracking down on organized crime, enforcing financial laws or cleaning up hooligans from the street. All for the simple reason that even though these things are obviously desirable for society at large, they are not in the interest of the Indian ruling elite and it is these interests which the Indian state - as of now - most closely defends and promotes.
Fundamentally, the Indian political class is not interested in removing the socio-economic conditions that ail our people and cripple our country. And they can get away with it because they have ensured - as a collective - that Indian Democracy cannot throw up a credible alternative that better looks after the interests of its people. Thus, it is the high barriers for entry into politics that most subvert our democracy. They maintain their power in the crudest possible manner, by beating up the new comer who dares to stand for election, by threatening his family, by buying him out. And anyone who 'makes it' in indian politics, is forced by the political class to become one of them - he needs the hooligans, he needs the money, and thus, he needs the political class and cannot rebel.
To sum it up -
Low barrier for entry into politics => Choice => state protecting interests of the people and a mature evolving functional democracy => evolution towards a better society with less suffering and more enlightenment and peace, thus freeing up more resources for endeavors of vision and courage such as the exploration of space, the quest for longevity and the search for truth and meaning.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
The Next Small Step
Exams done, and one last semester to to before the grand title of 'Master of Science' is conferred upon me, and the inevitable question that has been bouncing around in my head with many strange effects : "What next ?" is decisively answered. As I outlined in a previous post, I have already made up my mind about that : I will do a phd, and increasingly I feel that it will be in Belgium that I will do it. It will be a four year thing, and for the first time really, I'm looking forward to it. But thats not what this post is about. This post is about the next six months - the six months I have to do my thesis and enjoy myself here in Scotland.
Even so, I am plagued by indecision about some of the most important things in my life. When should I go back to India ? Whome should I marry and when ? What am I looking for in life ? To be honest, now that I've given up on pure physics as well as astronomical instrumentation, anything seems okay as long as it provides decent opportunity and a good quality of life. I gave up my dream in 2008 and in 2009 I am beginning to realize that everything else is just that - it's everything else. Phd in photonics is great, I seem to be good at this stuff, and if I play my cards well now and stay awake and perky for four years, I'll probably have something along the lines of what I want to show for it - the beginnings of a hi-tech startup. I'll then move it or a part of it to India or I'll sell it and go home. I want papa to retire early and relax, but I don't see how I can make that happen short of flying home and helping with the business and slowly easing the burden from his shoulders to mine. That is what dutiful sons from business families are expected to do. But I feel I owe it to mummy and papa who educated me and introduced me to books and showed me the world and encouraged me to dream, I owe it to them to make something of my life in these faraway and lonely places where I have been brought by all that is good in me and all that they taught me to be. I know papa agrees and mummy too, even though these days she wants me to come back.
The point is, now - stripped of idealism - apart from the fact that I have done two years of photonics, there is nothing to hold me to the subject - I like it but it is certainly not my passion, - I might as well have done an MBA or something in software or electronics. So, in the medium term my goals have very little to do with the pursuit of knowledge and beauty in academics, and a lot more to do with getting me a interesting and comfortable life. And in the near term - these six months before I graduate - I'm going to concentrate on keeping fit and healthy and happy :) Ive bought Lonely Planet's Walking In Scotland and I mean to work through as many of the relaxed and scenic walks as I can by the end of June and Ill certainly spend the whole of June relaxing and walking in Scotland, and anyone wanting to join is welcome ! I would also like to learn some application development for the iTouch and most of all I want to remain emotionally stable and physically fit.
And the word marriage is beginning to crop up too many times in too many private reveries as well as conversations. That'll have to be kept at bay I think, right now the priorities have to be to handle the immediate technicalities of life well enough to ensure stability and comfort along with leisure and travel. How happy and healthy and interesting my life is depends purely on how well I handle mundane things like thesis work, cooking, cleaning the room and keeping in touch with friends and thus free up time and resources for interesting activities. It's strange that I have to reaffirm these basics of life, but I as well as the one or two friends I have with me here on this exceptionally challenging 2 year roller coaster through western Europe, have had to discover and rediscover ourselves in order to make sense of the myriad possibilities and choices that lie before us. Most of all, we have had to accept our personal weaknesses, the responsibilities we have or will have and the finite nature of lives, our own and those of the people closest to us. This is adulthood. But again I have digressed - the next small step is to manage the little things in life well, have fun, be comfortable and choose an interesting phd topic. And sorry for the slightly solemn post, but I think I have most issues sorted now, and now for the next four or five years things should be calm, stable and lighthearted and interesting :)
Posted with LifeCast
Even so, I am plagued by indecision about some of the most important things in my life. When should I go back to India ? Whome should I marry and when ? What am I looking for in life ? To be honest, now that I've given up on pure physics as well as astronomical instrumentation, anything seems okay as long as it provides decent opportunity and a good quality of life. I gave up my dream in 2008 and in 2009 I am beginning to realize that everything else is just that - it's everything else. Phd in photonics is great, I seem to be good at this stuff, and if I play my cards well now and stay awake and perky for four years, I'll probably have something along the lines of what I want to show for it - the beginnings of a hi-tech startup. I'll then move it or a part of it to India or I'll sell it and go home. I want papa to retire early and relax, but I don't see how I can make that happen short of flying home and helping with the business and slowly easing the burden from his shoulders to mine. That is what dutiful sons from business families are expected to do. But I feel I owe it to mummy and papa who educated me and introduced me to books and showed me the world and encouraged me to dream, I owe it to them to make something of my life in these faraway and lonely places where I have been brought by all that is good in me and all that they taught me to be. I know papa agrees and mummy too, even though these days she wants me to come back.
The point is, now - stripped of idealism - apart from the fact that I have done two years of photonics, there is nothing to hold me to the subject - I like it but it is certainly not my passion, - I might as well have done an MBA or something in software or electronics. So, in the medium term my goals have very little to do with the pursuit of knowledge and beauty in academics, and a lot more to do with getting me a interesting and comfortable life. And in the near term - these six months before I graduate - I'm going to concentrate on keeping fit and healthy and happy :) Ive bought Lonely Planet's Walking In Scotland and I mean to work through as many of the relaxed and scenic walks as I can by the end of June and Ill certainly spend the whole of June relaxing and walking in Scotland, and anyone wanting to join is welcome ! I would also like to learn some application development for the iTouch and most of all I want to remain emotionally stable and physically fit.
And the word marriage is beginning to crop up too many times in too many private reveries as well as conversations. That'll have to be kept at bay I think, right now the priorities have to be to handle the immediate technicalities of life well enough to ensure stability and comfort along with leisure and travel. How happy and healthy and interesting my life is depends purely on how well I handle mundane things like thesis work, cooking, cleaning the room and keeping in touch with friends and thus free up time and resources for interesting activities. It's strange that I have to reaffirm these basics of life, but I as well as the one or two friends I have with me here on this exceptionally challenging 2 year roller coaster through western Europe, have had to discover and rediscover ourselves in order to make sense of the myriad possibilities and choices that lie before us. Most of all, we have had to accept our personal weaknesses, the responsibilities we have or will have and the finite nature of lives, our own and those of the people closest to us. This is adulthood. But again I have digressed - the next small step is to manage the little things in life well, have fun, be comfortable and choose an interesting phd topic. And sorry for the slightly solemn post, but I think I have most issues sorted now, and now for the next four or five years things should be calm, stable and lighthearted and interesting :)
Posted with LifeCast
Monday, 5 January 2009
Where I have been
1> Watching UFOs :) no kidding.
2> Visiting family :) lovely lovely break that was ! Thank you so much ?&4U:). I don't think anyone will decipher that :)
3> Exploring my new iPod touch and marvelling at the amazingess of it. I absolutely adoooore it. I want to write code for it ! 'nuff said.
4> Dreaming of traveling. The wilds of Scotland in June, and then later in the year, India ! Ladakh and the north east perhaps. the islands maybe, perhaps some really random place finances permitting.
I wrote that on my iPod touch sitting in my favourite coffee shop which has finally reopened post the holidays. Each of the above deserve nice long posts themselves and I did document the ufo sighting quite well, so maybe I'll write it up sometime. And I'll definitely be writing more about my itouch in the coming days. There is so much I can think of doing with it ! First and foremost, I want to get a gps of some inexpensive variety attached to it and accessible reliably enough to venture out with. But these are subjects for another post, perhaps even a different blog :)
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